Juprelle Baumli: I held her close, both to keep me buried in her, and to make sure she didn't fall suddenly and wake up.

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If I were a celebrity I think that would be the tagline for my men's and women's fragrance line. I'm thinking a light mix of copier toner, natural musks, and Jolt Cola. The bottle would be adorned with thick black plastic framed glasses with a wrap of duct tape in the middle and come in a small complimentary plaid flannel gift bag. Granted I'm not small or especially complimentary, unless I need to turn on the charm, but Britney Spears isn't a Hidden Fantasy either. It's all just marketing. And I thought I was a nerd until it suddenly became popular. Now everyone wants to be filled with obscure knowledge and at least pretends to be socially awkward if not downright inept. Meh. Now I need to find another outcast label to affix to my lapels. I just can't buck it. The library and the bookstore are my favorite places to be inside. When I'm outside in nature I examine every bug, plant, and mushroom to see if I can identify it. Jeopardy is on every day except Sunday and no, you wouldn't be the first person to tell me that I should go on that show. I was an avid D D player 7th edition until the dungeonmaster and I got into a big argument about whether we could invite girls over to play. I would have been a football player except for the fact that I find sports terribly dull, I have terrible handeye coordination, and it's hard to convince people you're a jock when you also read for pleasure. Maybe your first boyfriend was like me and you're interested in a trip down nostalgia lane. Maybe you never outgrew awkward and you're looking for the same kind of strange. Maybe you thought you liked skinny nerds until you discovered that their bony hips leave uncomfortable bruises yeah, I got that one from personal experience. Maybe a lot of things, but maybe you just want intelligent conversation for a change. No promises on that one, especially after I've had a few drinks, but engaging, entertaining, and amusing I can manage underwater with my eyes closed. Which is to say, not

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